Cancelled - The Play

Meet the Characters

FRED BENNETT - Suave, good-looking star of "Life in Barker's Corners." who plays Parker Bates Jr., heir to the Bates Feed Supply fortune. He's a tremendous actor: just ask him.

CONSTANCE FIGG - The no-nonsense leading lady who plays Parker's bride-to-be Jennifer on the show. Her looks may be fading, but that's why there's radio. Can drink anyone in Actors Equity under the table.

JASPER HUGHES - Ancient ex-vaudevillian who plays ancient Parker Bates Sr. As a young man, he performed the lead in Aeschylus' "The Frogs" with Aeschylus in attendance.

GEORGE MINT - The second male lead on "Life in Barker's Corners," he plays Jonesy, the gruff but lovable drifter. Born with a five o'clock shadow.

DENNIS PARTRIDGE - In his role as Dr. Rupert Rudyard on "Barker's Corners," he draws on classical theatrical training he received at Harvard...Drive Actors Academy in Burbank.

BETTY WILKES - Shrill, cleverness-challenged starlet who plays Dr. Rudyard's daughter, Emily. She believes that underground theater is performed in the basement, and was once hit by a parked car.

DAVIS WEAKLY - The velvet-voiced announcer and narrator of "Barker's Corners." His voice is insured for $50 million with Lloyd's of London, who requests that he not open his mouth when not on the air.

WALTER ST. PAUL - The "robustly proportioned" producer/director of the soap opera, Walter's self-restraint is matched only by that of the piranha. If he kisses your hand, count your rings afterward.

MONTY NAVOLI - Gangster whose Monty's Green Grocer is a front for his illicit businesses. A proud stereotype, Monty looks exactly like the guy on the Complete Deluxe Adult 1940s Gangster Costume box.

KENNY - A fresh-faced, eager office boy.

SGT. DONOVAN - Of the LAPD's organized crime bureau.

FOUR POLICEMEN (Non-speaking roles)


"That's the life of the gruff but lovable drifter: No ties. No attachments. No responsibilities. I like to think it's the life my dear old ma would've had if she hadn't gotten knocked up by that bandleader in Ojai."